Firstly I want to express my gratitude for everyone who participated in my virtual book launch.
It warmed my heart to receive all the love, support and encouragement while I released my new book “The Evolution of the Ego” into the world.
This book seems to have an energy and life of its own. I am honoured to be messenger to deliver it to the world.
The book is officially an international best seller in Canada, the US and UK! I am thrilled because this means that more people will find it and many more lives will be changed by it.
In the practice of authenticity and radical honesty I do feel guided to share that my day was not all rainbows, celebration and party balloons.
Technology played a key role in me releasing some intense fears that were deeply hidden in the recesses of my mind. At one point, I was facing down the biggest ego presence I have ever faced.
For my previous book launches the best seller stats would start showing on Amazon within a few hours of starting my virtual launch. Every hour the rankings would update and show which categories my book is climbing in.
Each hour I checked, nothing had changed. No rankings were showing. A fellow author mentioned that someone else experienced a glitch with Amazon and none of her ranking stats showed. I for-give technology and trusted Spirit has a plan. I surrendered my agenda and trusted it to play out the way it was meant to.
By noon nothing was showing on my book page. I had to walk away from my computer because I could feel anxiety rising up within me.
I took a hot shower and started practicing for-giveness. For-giving my worry, my anxiety, my fears, my attachments to Spirit to heal so I could return to peace.
I would feel relief for a moment then all the feelings would flood back in with even more intensity. There was something I was missing. I couldn’t see the root of my fear so I reached out for support from compassionate witness.
While I was sharing the story about the technology glitch I was standing in my robe looking in the bathroom mirror.
I started to express some of the darker, deeper, heavier thoughts out loud to bring them into the light for healing. I will not repeat the words with you because I was shocked by what came flying out of my mouth.
Suddenly the image of myself in the mirror shifted into a face down with the biggest most overpowering ego ever.
As it towered over me I heard the words “How dare you release this book and challenge me. You think you can take me on. You will lose. You are already losing. You are not a best seller. You will fail. You have already failed. I will take you down if you don’t back down now.”
I felt small but I was standing my ground facing down a massive giant of an ego threatening to take everything I built away from me including my reputation.
I felt my deep fears rising. I had lived my life needing to prove my worth because I didn’t feel worthy. I felt a deep layer of unworthiness filling my mind. I saw my attachments around my book reaching best seller status. I saw my fears around not making it happen and how will that reflect on me. What will others think? It felt like a storm of emotions all rising together in a powerful surge of energy.
Then I felt a deep SHIFT and my posture changed.
“I don’t care” blurted out of my mouth.
“I don’t care if I don’t make the best seller list.”
I was not willing to let this massive giant of an ego keep me paralyzed in fear. I stepped forward with courage and declared that “If I don’t make best seller I will use this as a lesson to overcome fear and attachments. I will use the experience to teach others that their ego is just a huge illusion of accumulative fears and we don’t need to back down no matter how threatening the ego becomes. I will use this to expose your tactics and agendas even more than my book already has. You have no power over me.”
The dense energy lifted up and out and everything softened, the giant ego disappeared and I felt a deep sense of peace once again.
I spent another hour away from my computer and felt totally unattached to any results around the best seller campaign and book launch.
Curiously, when I returned all the stats were showing and the book was ranking #1 in at least 5 categories in Canada and was a best seller in the US and UK.
I smiled and felt deep gratitude. Not because I made best seller but because I had received such an incredible healing. It was one of the most empowering experiences I ever had. Another layer of unwinding from ego and fear. I felt a level of freedom I had never felt before.
I am even more inspired to empower others to unwind their ego and free their minds of fear. This freedom can’t be explained it can only be experienced and I am feeling a clear calling to help as many people as I possibly can.
Thank you for being here, being open, being curious, being willing….may my story inspire you to look within and face your ego and fear with divine courage and tenacity.
heart hugs,
Sue xo
Click here if you would like to learn more about my new book “The Evolution of the Ego ~ A Journey to Unwind Your Ego, Embrace Your Humanness and Embody Your Divinity”.
