My first memories of being a healer were when I was in my mother’s womb. I could hear my parents fighting on the outside and I could feel the emotional impact it had on my mother on the inside. I could feel her anxiety, fear, and worry.
As a child I was extremely highly sensitive. I could feel everything around me. I could feel the trees, plants, insects, animals, Mother Earth, the moon, all of humanity along with all the suffering and pain; I could feel it ALL!
I could feel everyone’s emotions in my heart as if they were my own.
I could feel everyone’s physical pain in my body as if it were my own.
I could feel so much all the time, and as a child it was intense, heavy, hard, terrifying and, more often than not, it was extremely overwhelming. It was hard to breathe.
I cried a lot. Mostly into my pillow so no one else would hear me. I cried for humanity. I cried for nature. I cried for animals. I felt immense grief, paralyzing fear, extreme pain, and confusing physical symptoms in my body, ALL the time.
I didn’t know how to turn it off.
The world seemed so painful and I questioned how anyone could endure this much pain. I asked “why?” a lot, because I wanted to understand how the world worked and why so many people were suffering. It didn’t make sense to me. Why would anyone want to live in a world that was so full of pain?
I was deeply confused and conflicted in so many ways. I could sense the good in others, but I could also feel their shadow sides.
I was born with a strong calling in my heart to heal the world. I wanted so badly to help everyone to heal their pain and suffering, so I tried to carry it for them. It was a heavy burden to carry, especially for a child. At the same time, it was a strong calling within me and one that I couldn’t ignore it. At times, it was so intense that I questioned whether, if healing the world meant I had to endure this much pain, was it worth it? Each time the answer to that question was always yes, even if that meant sacrificing my own comfort.
At a very young age, I decided that I must be cursed and that I was being punished. I carried the burden and weight of the world’s suffering and pain on my shoulders and in my body for a long time.
I tried everything I could to numb it out or stop the pain, but that only led to more suffering. The more I tried to numb out or deny my sensitivities, the more sensitive I became. The more I tried to disconnect, the more disconnected I became from my true Self, from my highest purpose, from my calling. All of which created far worse suffering within my own mind and body. To top it all off, I accumulated a boatload of guilt because I wasn’t helping others as much as I knew I was meant to and I wasn’t answering the deepest calling in my heart.
I tried to be normal, to be like everyone else, but I never felt normal. I quickly realized that I wasn’t like everyone else around me, so I started to hide my feelings and the pain I felt. It didn’t feel safe to share and I became afraid of judgment.
At the time I didn’t understand what was happening inside me. It was confusing enough to try to navigate and understand my own inner chaos and feelings. When I tried to make sense of the world around me, it felt like an impossible task.
My own physical pain was buried under layers of other people’s pain and emotions.
I didn’t really understand what I was feeling in my body. All I knew was that I felt a lot of pain all the time. When I would injure or hurt myself, it felt like the straw that broke the camel’s back. My own pain felt magnified with intensity far bigger than the injury or wound on the outside.
There were moments when I could actually sense that the pain was not coming from me, even though I was feeling it in my body. I remember having experiences in which someone would enter a room and I would feel pain in my hip. When they left the room it was as if the pain left with them. A few times I could sense where the pain was coming from and when I focused my attention on the person, the pain would soften inside me.
These moments were fleeting because overall the physical and emotional pain were like constant thorns coming from all directions. And other people’s pains didn’t always leave my body when they left the room. In fact, more times than not, it lingered for a long time. Being in a public place was often excruciating and deeply challenging.
That was the perfect storm for suffering all the time. When you add my own inner pain and turmoil to the mix, it became a tangled confusing mess of a rat’s nest inside me.
While I felt conflicted on the inside, the world outside was one big contradiction, which led to even more confusion. Sometimes I could hear other people’s inner thoughts of suffering. It was confusing because most people who were suffering on the inside were often pretending to be okay or smiling on the outside. They were saying one thing and I could sense they were feeling the opposite on the inside. I became a very good lie detector because I could feel the truth behind the words people were speaking. What they were saying on the outside didn’t match how they were feeling inside.
In a way, I was doing the same thing. I was weathering an intense storm on the inside while pretending to be okay on the outside. I didn’t want to be a burden to my mother or anyone else. I was also terrified of being judged. I was afraid that, if anyone knew what was really going on inside my mind and body, they wouldn’t accept me. If they knew the real me, they would be afraid of me or they would condemn me for being cursed.
I lived in a state of constant fear while experiencing constant pain. That is how I lived most of my childhood.
In my early twenties, after years of abusing my body in an attempt to numb out the pain, I realized that I was teetering on the edge of life and death. My body was weak, my mind was lost in darkness and despair, and I was on the verge of ending it all.
I found myself at the bottom of the bottle. I had hit rock bottom and I hit it hard. I stood on the edge of life and I knew I had to make a choice or that choice would be made for me. I was lost in the darkness of my addictions, yet in the moment, I could see the smallest light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
This light was calling me like a beacon. It was my deepest heart’s calling. I had a vision showing me that I was meant to get lost in the dark so that I could help others find their way back into the light. There was something I was meant to do and I could use my life experiences to empower and inspire others. My personal experiences and challenges allowed me to foster deep compassion and empathy for all who were suffering.
I felt a renewed sense of purpose as I reconnected to the calling in my heart to heal the world. This was the catalyst that sparked the willingness and determination to find my way back home to my heart. I knew in that moment that I needed to heal myself so I could help others heal.
Healing Myself
As I took the steps I needed to take to heal myself, I was focusing on helping others at the same time. Every time I helped someone else heal, I was helping myself heal. Every time I healed myself, I seemed to be able to help others even more.
One day when I was sitting with a friend, I could feel a heaviness fill my heart and abdomen. This time instead of being afraid of it, I softened my mind and became deeply curious for any message it held. I was immediately pointed to my friend. I could sense something inside her that felt darker and denser than everything else. I asked her if she had pain in the area I was sensing and she said yes. I asked if I could try something to remove it and she said yes.
I placed my hand above the area of her body where I could see and sense the density. It was like I reached into her body with my hand, grabbed a hold of it, and pulled it out. Immediately her eyes popped open and she said, “What did you do?”
My first response was to shrink and recoil in fear that I had done something wrong. When she said, “The pain is gone,” I felt my courage rise up; I told her, “I removed it.” It felt like a miracle for both of us. Her pain never came back.
In that moment, I experienced a profound Spiritual awakening and my life changed in an instant. I saw a light fill my entire being and my mind expanded to create an opening for a new way of being in life. I had a vision of placing my hands on others and helping them heal their pain and suffering. Everything suddenly made sense. I realized that my ability to feel and sense other people’s physical and emotional pains was not a curse; it was actually my greatest gift. It was a gift that I was meant to share with the world.
I felt a force of love surround me, igniting a spark within my heart and inviting me to stop hiding. In that one instant, I said yes to play my part in the healing of the whole of humanity and I took the first step toward owning my gift as a healer.
I had no idea how I would do that but I felt a deep trust rising in me. I decided that if I was born with this gift to heal, then the rest of the recipe that provided the “how” had to be seeded in my heart as well. I made a commitment to follow my heart even when it didn’t make sense in my head. Somehow I knew and trusted that, if I followed my heart, it would lead me with every step.
Step by step, bread crumb by bread crumb, one ingredient at a time, my life as a healer unfolded.
I challenged all the thoughts I could hear in my head. I committed to changing the limited fear-based programming in my subconscious mind. I gave myself permission to feel all my unexpressed feelings to free myself from my past trauma. “Feel to heal” and “reveal to heal” became my mantras. I learned how to discern between my own pain and emotions and what belonged to others. I became a full-time student committed to living a life of healing and awakening to the Truth.
I became a student of healing. I learned. I read. I studied. I practised. I experienced. I immersed myself fully and I committed to healing everything within me so I could be a clear channel to support others to heal.
When I made the conscious choice to say YES to leading with my heart, to heal myself and to become the healer I knew I was meant to be, everything started to fall into place. I felt a deep sense of purpose and my path was illuminated to reveal the next step. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
My personal life and my professional life continuously overlapped and everything fell under an overarching umbrella of healing. I also discovered I had a passion for teaching and empowering others by imparting knowledge to help open and heal their mind.
My intuitive gift continues to evolve and today it allows me to take complex ideas, lessons, and spiritual concepts, and simplify them in a way that the mind can accept and understand. As I work with the energy in the background, it creates a felt experience in others to bring a deeper understanding and integration into their mind, body, and soul.
While I am a spiritual teacher, mentor, and coach, I hold the clear intention to always be a student first. That allows me to constantly evolve and fine-tune my intuitive gifts. My senses have become highly acute, laser sharp, accurate, and profoundly transformative. I am honoured to be a beacon of light illuminating the healing path for others. I have spent the last thirty years healing, teaching, training, and empowering thousands of people.
I am passionate about providing advanced mentoring to accelerate and unlock the intuitive gifts of healers, empaths, light leaders, holistic practitioners, and conscious souls all around the globe. I have created a curriculum that brings all my years of experience, practice, and knowing into the classroom to facilitate a quickening and acceleration to fast-track the process of healing and awakening for others.
Our healing process is not about bypassing past traumas, emotions, or layers within us that need to be witnessed, processed, and healed. It is about clearing all the clutter in the most efficient way and recognizing what needs to be consciously processed and what doesn’t. It is about exposing and shining light on what we need to heal, especially the cleverly hidden blocks, and processing it all in the most efficient way. It is about learning how to discern between what is ours and what is not.
Over the last five years, I have received a recurring message during meditation saying, “You are meant to be one of the most powerful healers on the planet at this time.” The first time I heard these words, my heart leapt with deep resonance and Truth. I had goosebumps all over my body and felt a huge heart YES. Then I spent years struggling to find a way to embrace these words without fear paralyzing me or ego highjacking it. I wondered how I could say YES to answer that calling, while also remaining humble, without feeling somehow superior or better than others, which is Spiritual Ego.
I would completely let it all go and dismiss it altogether because it felt too big or impossible to align with, without ego coming in to make me feel special. It was actually during the process of writing this book that I finally found a way to reconcile it in my mind. I was given the message to reframe it as “I am meant to play a role as one of the most powerful healers at this time.” Embracing it as a role I am meant to play removed my ego from the struggle altogether.
I could feel an authentic heart YES to fully align with the profound impact and potential this role holds for me, for humanity, and for our planet. Then I was shown that everyone has the potential to play this role, because anyone can set an intention to be the most powerful healing presence they can possibly be. This shift in perspective was exactly what I needed to align my mind, heart, and soul; now it feels inclusive and no one person is more special than another.
I have a strong calling in my heart and a deep knowing that I have a significant role to play in supporting humanity to heal so we can unite in love. I have received many visions of what is possible for us, and my faith in humanity is strong. In fact, it has never been stronger than it is right now.
My intention is to empower and inspire all of us to heal. To heal self, to support others to heal, and to each be a healing presence in this world. Together, we can heal all our blocks to love, and own the unique gifts that are seeded in our heart.
The Truth is that we are ALL healers! YES, you are a healer! And the world needs you to be a healing presence. Humanity needs all of us to say YES to embody the healer within, so we can all be beacons of light and messengers of love. The world needs you now more than ever. It all begins with saying YES!
What do you say?
Are you willing to say YES and let your heart lead you to the life you are meant to be living now?
Are you open to play the roles you are meant to play now to contribute to the healing of the whole?
Start with YES. Just say YES and see what happens.
Heart hugs and blessings,
Sue xo
**This story is an excerpt from Sue Dumais’ book “We Are ALL Healers! Ordinary People With Extraordinary Intention Will Heal the World”
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