Can you imagine a life free from regret? Do you believe it is possible? If you already live a life without regret, do you understand why you can embrace this perspective?
When we follow our heart and let the Spirit within guide us, we will live a life without regret. When we are filled with regret, we are choosing to align with ego. Our ego works in the past and fills our mind and heart with “would have, could have, and should have.”
The only regret from my past that I have in my awareness is one that is purposeful for teaching this concept. In April 2001, I had visited my Dad; I had a sense that he was having some health issues. A few months later, as Father’s Day approached, the thought of sending my Dad a card came into my awareness. Immediately, my ego came in to remind me of why I had stopped making him Father’s Day cards a long time ago, and how much pain was associated with that.
When I was a little girl, my entire class would make something special each Father’s Day. For a few years, I would participate with hope of seeing my Dad on Father’s Day and giving him my gift. It was a fool’s hope, because, up until Grade Five, I only saw my Dad once a year and it was rarely on any special occasions. Each year I would make something and each year it would sit in my room until I eventually threw it out. One year, I started making all my Father’s Day gifts for my Mom, because in my eyes she was playing both roles. I felt relief and buried my disappointment.
In 2001, when I received guidance to mail my Dad a card, I quickly dismissed it because my ego was reminding me of past pain. I had already done a lot healing around my relationship with my father, but it took some time to forgive and let go of the past memories around Father’s Day. In spite of healing my past, for some reason I never did send him a card. Later that summer my father passed away, and regret filled my heart. If only I had followed my intuition, he would have known I was thinking about him. If only I had sent the card, he would have realized how much I loved him.
I tell this story from a perspective of regret, but I have forgiven myself for not following my intuition. Shortly after my Dad passed away, I had a dream where he was sitting at a table smiling at me. He looked so healthy and happy. For days after, I felt my father’s spirit, and I was able to communicate my regret and let him know how much I love him.
Many people live each day with deep regret. The fact is you can’t change your past but you can change how you feel about your past right now.
I invite you to release your past regret and start fresh now. If from this moment forward you follow your heart and trust your intuition, you will live a life without regret. To heal past regret, you can use the following exercise.
Heart Work: Releasing Regret
Healing our past begins by becoming present in this moment. We can’t heal the past in the past. We can only heal how we feel about the past in the present moment.
1. Invite eight deep centering breaths.
2. Invite a curious mindset to dissolve all judgment.
3. Take a moment to reflect on any area of your life, relationship, or past behaviour that you feel regret toward.
4. Begin writing about your regret in your journal. Allow everything that is inside of you to be expressed. This is a process of emptying.
5. Once you feel empty of thoughts, emotions, and any other forms of regret, take a moment to reflect on the lesson you gained from that experience.
6. Imagine taking the gem or lesson into your heart and surrounding it with gratitude.
7. Now visualize yourself releasing the anchor, freeing yourself from regret and any other thoughts and beliefs about that past experience.
© Sue Dumais
This blog is an excerpt from Sue Dumais’ new book “Heart Led Living ~ When Hard Work Becomes Heart Work”
To learn more about Sue’s new book click here
